Yharon

[ruvaakdasneaky]

Character Name

Generalities

Name: Yharon

AKA: Jungle dragon jr., Jack

Age: 22

Gender: Male

Race: Half - demon

Faction: ---

Squad: ---

Role: ---

Battle Theme: Roar of Jungle dragon


Rank: D

Red Orbs: 600/1000 (Armor of cursed king) 

Blue Orbs: 200/200 () 

Character Description

Physical Appearance(s):

Yharon is 5'9 ft green eyed boy. His appearance took a lot of more traits from his mother, having sharp ears with scaly hair, which reminds a dragon by looking at it, so that's why he's wearing red hood with mask on it to get less attention from demon hunters. He wears pretty rusty plate mail, which he got from stealing the tomb, under his outfit, although his ease in movements would make you think that it's fake.





Personality:

This person is very egocentic: he will always seek a reason to swing his sword around, be it in a friendly or more cruel manner. Although, he isn't that bold to go for a battle he surely cannot win. Gaining his trust is really hard, but if you can manage to do so - he becomes one of best buddies to go drink some beer with. Being still pretty young, he will act very edgy and will try to be cool in front of everyone.

Backstory

Backstory

A legend exists, that in deep forests of jungle, lives 1 powerful demon, who could warm air around themselves to desert levels by just thinking and become a dragon, which is able to burn cities down in just minutes. A lot of demon hunters came to seek that legendary jungle dragon to slay them down and bring the best trophy to prove that they're best, but all of them got defeated to leave them with broken body and spirit, but never dead. There was only one demon hunter, who did worn a red coat, defeated them, and after that, jungle dragon did dissapear, letting everyone guess if they was killed or not...

Yharon is a son of that legendary jungle dragon, who wishes to continue legacy of his mother. His past of a bully doesn't matter, as he threw it away to train with a gift of her mother: Claw of dragon, and create his own legacy in a wish to become someone worthy of the legendary title while defeating the only demon hunter, who defeated her.

Traits

Healing Factor

Yharon didn't got skin tough enough because of crossbreeding with a human, but it got a benefit in having very high regeneration, letting him withstand much cruel beating and not die from just a single good focused slash. 

Dragon Strength

Through training with a legend herself, Yharon is capable of imparting a lot more force onto objects in the world. He is capable of performing feats of strength that go well beyond what your peers can do, lifting heavier weights and throwing objects with a great deal more force.

Equipment

Name: Dovah jusk

Description: A colossal greatsword, made from claw of the legendary jungle dragon and gifted to Yharon as a gift for finishing the training. Legends says that soul of his mother rests here after her defeat, leading her son to ways to become more powerful, but who knows if it's a truth...

Rank: D

Traits: None


Name: Armor of cursed king.

Description: Rusty armor of Yharon, which he got from raiding a tomb with demons as part of his training. Nobody knows, who was an original owner because of how old it is, but it was cursed for sure. The jungle dragon jr. took this as a challenge, and at end, turned the curse into a benefit through countless trainings. This armor gives pretty decent protection despite looking so old

Upgrade Points: 1

Upgrades:
Curse of overweight (Trait-Like):
This armor has total weight of 700 kilograms, having this curse so nobody will even dare to take this set. As a side effect, this armor got very good protection, being able to withstand low class firearms with ease.

Combat Foci

Name: Dragon style

Description: Style of legendary dragon, based around fire magic and flying for advantages in fight. Sadly, Yharon have no fire magic nor flying, so he uses basics of this style with Claw of Dragon to fight people in open spaces pretty effectively, relaying on reach and ease of movements with this oversized sword.

Rank: D

Aspects: None


Name: Juggernaut style

Description: Style, mostly used in enclosed space where using Jusk is too uncomfortable, Yharon can go into a fist fight, using his weight and strength to overwhelm the opponent. This style consists of grabs and punches with going forward and brushing blows off as long as enemy isn't stronger in just raw power.

Rank: D

Aspects: None

Techniques

[pepsi]

Hey ruvaakdasneaky, thanks for applying. Let's begin the review process.

The first thing I'm noticing is that your character's Race is listed as "cyborg". Sadly there is no such race on Buried Light. Rather, you can be a cyborg if you wish, but being a cyborg means that you start with some Race and then you buy Crafted/Devil Arms to stick inside your body. There is no "preconfigured" cyborgs, if that makes sense, I still need you to specify if she's a Human, Demon, Halfblood or Construct.
You can read more about Races here.

The backstory is fine. I'll just add in that the Templars have been around for only a couple of years, which is enough for your girl to have been "reconstructed" by the Alchimisti (that is fine) but the orphanage was probably sponsored/financed by the Church itself rather than the Templars.

On the "races" page you'll see that some Races have access to unique Traits. Your Augmented Blood super-regeneration Trait actually steps a bit too much on the feet of Half-bloods in this case, and it needs to be reworked into something else.

Likewise, the second Trait Fluid Power also needs to be revised. As it stands, it works as both "Inhuman Strength" and "Inhuman Toughness" on a switch. Sadly this is not viable, even if the switch can't be used in combat, and the two Traits need to be taken separately.
Since you mention "modes", I would strongly suggest taking the time to read about Shapeshifting and its special ruling because it may be useful to your case: you could buy those "modes" as separate Forms.
Of course the description of the two Combat Foci needs to be revised to accommodate for this change, too.

Gun Arm is a viable Crafted Arm conceptually, however there are a few points I need to address. First of all, there are no "Technique-like" Upgrades, so I'm not sure what you mean here. Maybe you meant Trait-like?
Secondly, Elemental Module at least would need to be Aspect-like. Fortunately, if you want to make it Aspect-like, you can choose to not describe which elements can be fired from the hand; you will have to buy each element as a separate Technique that makes use of the Elemental Module.
Reflect Module needs to be expanded a bit. I didn't understand very well what you meant with the "explosive long range" part of the description, so at least I'll need a bit more detail on that. Moreover, as it is written now, this Upgrade would also be Aspect-like.

We will review the Techniques after we conclude Traits, Equipment and Foci. Please reply to this thread when you have implemented your changes, and if you want to brainstorm more stuff you know where to go on the Discord!

[pepsi]

Your Character App has been Approved. You can now post an exact copy of it in the Updated Character Apps section; you can grab the code from here:

SPOILER: Click to show


[p align="center"][font size="4"][b]Character Name[/b][/font][/p]

[p align="center"][font size="3"][i]Generalities[/i][/font][/p]

[b]Name:[/b] Yharon

[b]AKA:[/b] Jungle dragon jr., Jack

[b]Age:[/b] 22

[b]Gender:[/b] Male

[b]Race:[/b] Half - demon

[b]Faction:[/b] ---

[b]Squad:[/b] ---

[b]Role:[/b] ---

[b]Battle Theme:[/b] [a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GcPA3C0QeI"]Roar of Jungle dragon[/a]


[b]Rank:[/b] D

[b]Red Orbs:[/b] 600/1000 (Armor of cursed king) [img style="max-width:100%;" src="//storage.proboards.com/7286694/images/iuIFServ0EVfvUBwSkLt.png" class="smile" alt=":ro:"]

[b]Blue Orbs:[/b] 200/200 () [img style="max-width:100%;" src="//storage.proboards.com/7286694/images/opMHbUcIbaigOAVfWrND.png" alt=":bo:" class="smile"]



[p align="center"][font size="3"][i]Character Description[/i][/font][/p]

[b]Physical Appearance(s):[/b]

Yharon is 5'9 ft green eyed boy. His appearance took a lot of more traits from his mother, having sharp ears with scaly hair, which reminds a dragon by looking at it, so that's why he's wearing red hood with mask on it to get less attention from demon hunters. He wears pretty rusty plate mail, which he got from stealing the tomb, under his outfit, although his ease in movements would make you think that it's fake.

[img alt="" style="max-width:100%;" src="https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/716385657387483147/1023488610265223188/1618113251_46-p-paren-drakon-fentezi-52.jpg?width=474&height=676"]

[img style="max-width:100%;" src="https://cs6.pikabu.ru/post_img/2017/08/17/9/1502982901119268218.jpg" alt=""]

[b]Personality:[/b]

This person is very egocentic: he will always seek a reason to swing his sword around, be it in a friendly or more cruel manner. Although, he isn't that bold to go for a battle he surely cannot win. Gaining his trust is really hard, but if you can manage to do so - he becomes one of best buddies to go drink some beer with. Being still pretty young, he will act very edgy and will try to be cool in front of everyone.

[p align="center"][font size="3"][i]Backstory[/i][/font][/p]

Backstory

A legend exists, that in deep forests of jungle, lives 1 powerful demon, who could warm air around themselves to desert levels by just thinking and become a dragon, which is able to burn cities down in just minutes. A lot of demon hunters came to seek that legendary jungle dragon to slay them down and bring the best trophy to prove that they're best, but all of them got defeated to leave them with broken body and spirit, but never dead. There was only one demon hunter, who did worn a red coat, defeated them, and after that, jungle dragon did dissapear, letting everyone guess if they was killed or not...

Yharon is a son of that legendary jungle dragon, who wishes to continue legacy of his mother. His past of a bully doesn't matter, as he threw it away to train with a gift of her mother: Claw of dragon, and create his own legacy in a wish to become someone worthy of the legendary title while defeating the only demon hunter, who defeated her.



[p align="center"][font size="3"][i]Traits[/i][/font][/p]

[b]Healing Factor
[/b]
Yharon didn't got skin tough enough because of crossbreeding with a human, but it got a benefit in having very high regeneration, letting him withstand much cruel beating and not die from just a single good focused slash. 

[b]Dragon Strength
[/b]
Through training with a legend herself, Yharon is capable of imparting a lot more force onto objects in the world. He is capable of performing feats of strength that go well beyond what your peers can do, lifting heavier weights and throwing objects with a great deal more force.


[p align="center"][font size="3"][i]Equipment[/i][/font][/p]



[b][/b][b]Name:[/b] Dovah jusk

[b]Description:[/b] A colossal greatsword, made from claw of the legendary jungle dragon and gifted to Yharon as a gift for finishing the training. Legends says that soul of his mother rests here after her defeat, leading her son to ways to become more powerful, but who knows if it's a truth...

[b]Rank:[/b] D

[b]Traits:[/b] None


[b]Name:[/b] Armor of cursed king.

[b]Description:[/b] Rusty armor of Yharon, which he got from raiding a tomb with demons as part of his training. Nobody knows, who was an original owner because of how old it is, but it was cursed for sure. The jungle dragon jr. took this as a challenge, and at end, turned the curse into a benefit through countless trainings. This armor gives pretty decent protection despite looking so old

[b]Upgrade Points:[/b] 1

[b]Upgrades:[/b]
Curse of overweight (Trait-Like):
This armor has total weight of 700 kilograms, having this curse so nobody will even dare to take this set. As a side effect, this armor got very good protection, being able to withstand low class firearms with ease.




[p align="center"][font size="3"][i]Combat Foci[/i][/font][/p]



[b]Name:[/b] Dragon style

[b]Description: [/b]Style of legendary dragon, based around fire magic and flying for advantages in fight. Sadly, Yharon have no fire magic nor flying, so he uses basics of this style with Claw of Dragon to fight people in open spaces pretty effectively, relaying on reach and ease of movements with this oversized sword.

[b]Rank: [/b]D

[b]Aspects: [/b]None


[b]Name:[/b] Juggernaut style

[b]Description:[/b] Style, mostly used in enclosed space where using Jusk is too uncomfortable, Yharon can go into a fist fight, using his weight and strength to overwhelm the opponent. This style consists of grabs and punches with going forward and brushing blows off as long as enemy isn't stronger in just raw power.

[b]Rank:[/b] D

[b]Aspects:[/b] None




[p align="center"][font size="3"][i]Techniques[/i][/font][/p]


We recommend doing it sooner rather than later, as a link to this new thread is needed to gain more Red Orbs.
Moreover, as a reply to this new thread, please append the following Orb Gains and Spending template:

SPOILER: Click to show


[b]Divinity Statue:[/b] link

[div align="center"][b]Orbs Gained[/b][/div]
([a href="https://devilmaycryrp.proboards.com/thread/51/yharon"]link[/a]) Character Approval [Gained 1000 :RO:]

[div align="center"][b]Orbs Spending[/b][/div]
(Trait Rank D) Healing Factor [Spent 0 :RO:, Spent 0 :BO:] [Gained 0 :BO:]

(Trait Rank D) Dragon Strength [Spent 0 :RO:, Spent 0 :BO:] [Gained 0 :BO:]

(Devil Arm Rank D) Dovah jusk [Spent 0 :RO:, Spent 0 :BO:] [Gained 0 :BO:]

(Crafted Arm 1 UP) Armor of cursed king [Spent 400 :RO:, Spent 0 :BO:] [Gained 200 :BO:]

(Combat Focus Rank D) Dragon style [Spent 0 :RO:, Spent 0 :BO:] [Gained 0 :BO:]

(Combat Focus Rank D) Juggernaut style [Spent 0 :RO:, Spent 0 :BO:] [Gained 0 :BO:]


It has already been filled in with your starting 1000 and your starting expenses.

[attr="class","rules_title"]

Welcome to Buried Light!